Budget

When I was growing up both of my parents worked. My dad was a professor at the local college and the treasurer of at a theatre box office during the summer. My mom was a librarian at a local elementary school. My mom was a spender! Every Saturday was spent shopping with my mom, that’s what she did. I never remember my parents talking about money, or having fights about money. I saw them both work hard and buy nice things without stress.

My husband’s family was not as financially stable as mine. His mom didn’t work and his dad went from job to job just trying to make enough money to support his family. His mom wasn’t very responsible with money, so if she had it she spent it. 

So when we got married, it seemed like we were coming from opposite backgrounds, but we discovered a couple of big similarities that neither of us wanted to continue in our marriage. Both of our mother’s were spenders, and because of that both of our dad’s had to spend a lot of their time working. For our family, we didn’t want my husband to have to work more then he had to, so we could spend more time together as a family. We decided early that we would live on a budget. It took us years to really figure out how to have a budget that you could live on, but we have done it. We both have a strong testimony of tithing. If we pay tithing money doesn’t magically appear, instead we see the blessing that we will be able to create budget’s and live within our budget. 

We both have realized that just like many things in life, the financial part of our life is an ongoing journey. It needs constant work and attention and needs to be adjusted from time to time. 

Unity

I really enjoyed reading the article from Richard Miller, “Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families”.  There is some great information in this article that provides great guidance for families. I think the most important point is that as parents, we must be united in leadership in regards to our families. We have seen it in our own family, where kids will ‘parent shop’ and/or play us as parents against each other. I really agree with the ‘executive session’, where if there is something that you are not seeing eye to eye, you need to go and talk where little ears can’t hear you. 

A really valuable point made in this article is to show that you are united in your leadership, you need to show respect for one another and refrain from ever saying anything negative about your spouse in front of your kids. I know that sometimes things can slip in the heat of the moment, but we need to remember that when things like that it shows weakness in our unity with our spouse. I love the counsel give by Joseph F. Smith,

 “Parents … should love and respect each other, and treat each other with respectful decorum and kindly regard, all the time. The husband should treat his wife with the utmost courtesy and respect. The husband should never insult her; he should never speak slightly of her, but should always hold her in the highest esteem in the home, in the presence of their children … The wife, also should treat the husband with the greatest respect and courtesy. Her words to him should not be keen and cutting and sarcastic. She should not pass slurs or insinuations at him … Then it will be easy for the parents to instill into the hearts of their children not only love for their fathers and their mothers, not only respect and courtesy towards their parents, but love and courtesy and deference between the children at home.”