Turning Towards Each Other

President Gordon B. Hinckley has said, “I find selfishness to be the root cause of most of [the problems that lead to broken homes]. I am satisfied that a happy marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion…There is a remedy for all of this. It is not found in divorce. It is found in the gospel of the Son of God. He it was who said, ‘What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder’ (Matthew 19:6). The remedy for most marriage stress is not divorce. It is in repentance. It is not in separation. It is in simple integrity that leads a man to square up his shoulders and meet his obligations. It is found in the Golden Rule.”

I think this is great advice given by a Prophet that is supported by scripture. The last sentence is so simple and so true.  When I think of little ways that my husband and I stay connected they are all by turning toward each other. We have been married for over 26 years and we learned about 10 years how to really work as a team. When you are part of a team, you have your job to do and your teammates have theirs. If we both do our jobs, and are there to back each other up we will be successful. Life is busy for everyone, with five kids it seems that its always go, go, go. 

We have also learned the importance of spending one on one time with each other. We go on walks on his days off and talk for a few miles. It’s unfiltered, no little ears of kids listening. We do our best reconnecting and understanding each others points of view during our walks. We have date night every week. Sometimes it’s a nice dinner, sometimes a movie so we can just sit with one another and hold hands and sometimes it’s a trip to Costco. We take whatever time we can find and be together. 

The little actions of making the bed in the morning when you are the last one up, or bathing our little guy and reading him a chapter, or buying one another’s favorite treat when we are out are the little things that really add up and make us feel connected. As a couple we spend more time focusing on the little things in our lives and we find when we do there are big rewards for each other.